My name is Bump. I am a slime.

Perhaps you aren’t familiar with slimes, or with boarmen, dragons, centaurs, or even blade spiders. Maybe you’ve never seen a monster at all. Lucky you.

But I am a monster. A slime. And yes, it is exactly what it sounds like. I am a blob of goo with two beady eyes. Officially the weakest of all the Beautiful Baron’s monsters. I can splorch my way around, hop from place to place, and dissolve human flesh I come in contact with.

If someone hits a slime, it’ll pretty much just die. Such was my life, from day one. Fragile, but dangerous. Continue reading →

I rode out into the open fields of Dodecia on a mule, armed with nothing but a rusty sword, a gray tunic, and some rather comfortable boots.

This is where it all started, I thought. Where I found my first party, rode off to my first quest… all on a mule.

I wanted to recapture that feeling that I had when starting out. That’s why I rode on a mule, instead of my personal dragon. That’s why I left my enchanted mythril armor at home, discarded my legendary Sword of Instant Decapitation. This was how I started. Continue reading →

“Why be fascinated with outer space?” Gerry was once asked. “It’s mostly empty, impossible to reach, and utterly lifeless! We have unexplored territory right here on earth.”

“Where?” the boy asked.

“The oceans,” his uncle said, smiling. “Nobody knows for sure what is down there.”

Twenty-five years later, and Gerry was finding out what was down there.

Life. Continue reading →

I’m from the east. I live in a subdivision, in a small city, in the middle of the hill country of the south. I had thought, compared to giants like New York City or even Birmingham, I was in the middle of nowhere.

That changed on my first cross-country road trip. Somewhere in the North American midwest, I had stopped realizing where I was at all. In fact, there was a point where I was on a stretch of road through coarse dry land, and I had been on that single road for four hours without seeing another sign of civilization.

As it stood, I could probably make it another four hours before needing a gas station. I hoped my sedan could make it, and continued onward.

No houses. No cell service. No road signs. Continue reading →

Strange the oddities you can find in the attic of a refurbished home. I was told that the previous owners of my house were eccentric, by five different neighbors, no less, but this was never more evident to me than when I found a bottle in my attic.

“Remover,” the label said.

Immediately, curiosity filled me. “Why,” I said, “this must be half a label. I cannot tell what it removes, or how to remove it.” Continue reading →

My first thought when I was bounced violently out of my sleep was, “Oh no, did I forget to feed the dog?” Unfortunately, the beast I had forgotten to feed was much bigger, much worse, and much less forgiving.

I crashed into the ceiling, saw stars, and then fell into the calloused green hand of a genuine monster. The rest of the creature glared at me from the gaping hole under my bed, fangs gleaming.

“MMmmMM OKAY,” I told my brain, “it might be good to wake up now.” Continue reading →

I’ve decided that I’m going to start throwing short stories and writing snippets on this blog. It will be a good place to collect the spur-of-the-moment writing that I do. I mean, would you rather read about yet another ‘author experience’, or read a neat little tale about dragons and cowboys?

Yeah, I thought so.

Dust swept across the trembling ground as John Michael Moort rode his steed into the canyon. He was close this time, he knew it. Continue reading →